Email From Olduvai

Editor:
I'll start this from the beginning as best as I can recall at this late date.

It had been a hellish month in the Olduvai Gorge. Not only was it that season which was rough on everybody but strange things were happening all around. Even after most of the mating was over everybody was still acting weird. Not normal. Hard to get a handle on it, sort of stunned, like having a slight sunburn, but on the inside. The feelings lasted a long time.

Anyway, things slowly got back to normal: making stone tools, throwing rocks at the nosey hyenas; the usual. But things felt different somehow. Like outside forces had been at work and not the usual ghosts and spirits that are always hanging around.

Of course this passed with time and it wasn't until months later, nine months actually, that all the bizarre things came to pass. The babies started coming. If it had been only one or two that were weird, the hyenas would have gotten them. But babies are hard to come by, even strange ones, really strange like these were. Hairless, most of the new lot. Starkers. Like they were turned inside out. No fur at all to speak of. Like baby rabbits, or rats. What on Earth!

What to do? Can't feed the entire crop to the beasts. Besides the mothers were frantic. " It's so cute, in it's way! Don't harm it!", they cried.

So that's how it all started. The kids, most of them anyway, survived. Grew up but...
were different. Something was lacking. It was like they had no good sense. Anything that happened to them presented a problem. Didn't seem to know naturally what to do. Might run from a frog but stand in front of a lion! No good sense at all. Not like kids are supposed to be. And the questioning. Pointing quizzically to the rain, the sun, dead things! On and on and on. And the noises they made among themselves! Never heard anything like it.

And it takes them so long to grow up. They couldn't do at ten what the older kids could at four. But they're smart little buggers, the lot of them, in their way. Just not able to stay out of harms way. No monkey sense at all.

But the worst was yet to come. When they reached the time for that season. It never happened. Worse yet, oh the shame, it was, the girls you see, doing it any old time...can you imagine? Just had the boys all agog...and the older men, well! I am sure you understand our dilemma. The older women were frantic. These fur less females were the scourge of their existence. How can we get the men back with this unfair competition from these strange new sexy kids with all that smooth skin?

That was the problem with the girls. With the boys it was another matter altogether. They all became fire bugs. You know how dangerous that stuff is! Well, these kids treat it as if it was child's play. But they don't need to worry about bursting into flame. Those fur less showoffs! They don't go up in smoke like we do. Those kids started eating all kinds of things that they half burn up. (I will say many things are quite tasty that way but who knows what all this fire business will lead to?)

What really annoys the elders is the smart alecky attitude they have. Now we all know the correct way to make a flint knife or a scraper, we've only been doing it since forever. But these kids have a new way for doing everything. Believe me, it's causing a lot of friction these days.

The new ones have too much energy. Way to much. If they had to spend the time and energy we do chasing madly about during that season instead of just laying up together whenever it suits they wouldn't have so much pep and vigor left over. It doesn't seem fair.

Lately, a lot of the new people are beginning to wander away from here. I wonder how far they think they'll get? What makes them think there is any there, out there, anyway? The rest of us are staying right here in the old Gorge, thank you very much.

Sincerely,
Concerned