The Brothers Karamazov

"Actually, people sometimes talk about man's 'bestial' cruelty, but that is being terribly unjust and offensive to the beasts..."
Fyodor Dostoyevsky
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Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Our American Taliban

or/ There's Bed-Buggery Aboard

Our holier-than-holy folk had been lagging behind in the race for big-time global religious zealotry; i.e. the 'Piety Derby', but no more. Our neo-Taliban will equal or surpass theirs any day now. Maybe the others are way out in front in discipline, doctrine and enforcement but we are catching up rapidly due to our superior technology and True Grit.
Taliban Flag


Wikipedia



As the Taliban's Attorney General Maulvi Jalil-ullah Maulvizada put it:


" The Holy Koran cannot adjust itself to other people's requirements, people should adjust themselves to the requirements of the Holy Koran."

Well, OK. That's not bad, not bad at all. But how about this?



Proposed "citizen's flag"
Wikipedia


..."The Bible contains everything that they need to know in order to obtain salvation and to live a Christian life, and there are no deficiencies in Scripture that need to be filled with by tradition, pronouncements of the Pope, new revelations, or present-day development of doctrine." Wikipedia

The march to piety begins and ends in the bedrooms of the believers. But it's not always easy doing it for the home team. Check this out:

"Islam has forbidden celibacy, monasticism and castration for such purpose. The Prophet made this clear when he told those companions who were considering acetic forms of life: "I pray and I sleep; I fast and I break my fast; and I marry women. Whoever turns away from my way of life is not from me. " The Prophet not only encouraged marriage but he encouraged those women who are child-bearing. He stated: "Marry the loving child-bearing women, for I shall have the largest numbers among the Prophets on the day of Resurrection." by Ahmed and Ibn Hibban

Is this direct challenge to go unanswered. Will our holy-folk fail to take up the cudgel and let the big numbers go to the other side? Not a chance of that happening! Let the breeding game begin. The Prophet may be in the lead but look who's got Eros bow in hand now: Go neo-Taliban!

Quiverfull ~ is the idea that truly godly families will “trust the Lord” with their family planning. Children are viewed as unmitigated blessings (“As arrows in the hand of the mighty man, so are the children of ones youth, happy is the man who hath his quiver full of them”) and as such, the couple is willing to have as many children as the Lord chooses to bless them with. Artificial or chemical birth control such as the Pill or IUDs are equated with abortion ~ the sin of murdering your own offspring. “Natural” birth control such as Natural Family Planning is not actually “natural” because a couple must abstain at the very time of the month when the woman is naturally more desirous of physical intimacy. All methods of “conception control” is considered a lack of trust in God to provide for the “children of the righteous.” NLQ Stories

What of the children in this contest? Are they to be just useful idiots? Aha, here's a clue:

Sharmeen Obaid-Chinoy: 'Children are tools to achieve God's will,' the Taliban commander told me.

"In a country where the average family size is seven people and the daily wage is as low as £1 a day, many families choose to send their children to Islamic religious schools, where they are given free food and shelter. Now increasingly, the Taliban are recruiting from these schools and paying the families a monthly stipend in return."

"They first call us to the mosques, and preach to us. Then they take us to a madrassa and they teach us things from the Koran," said Hazrat Ali.


" ...Qari Abdullah, a Taliban commander in charge of child recruitment, told me children are an essential element of Jihad. "If you're fighting, then God provides you with the means [to win]. Kids themselves are tools to achieve God's will. And whatever comes your way, you sacrifice it." Children as young as five and six years old are being recruited from poor families, he said....There are 80 million children in Pakistan. More than a quarter of them live below the poverty line. "THE INDEPENDENT

That's a lot of future zealots for the opposition. What can be done to even the playing field? How about this?

Initiative 957 was filed by the Washington Defense of Marriage Alliance.

..."Under the initiative, marriage would be limited to men and women who are able to have children. Couples would be required to prove they can have children in order to get a marriage license, and if they did not have children within three years, their marriage would be subject to annulment.

All other marriages would be defined as “unrecognized” and people in those marriages would be ineligible to receive any marriage benefits." ...

...Deep Something

So how do the two camps come down on the distaff gender, you may wonder. Few surprises here. Consider:


As the Taliban's Attorney General Maulvi Jalil-ullah Maulvizada put it:

"Let us state what sort of education the UN wants. This is a big infidel policy which gives such obscene freedom to women which would lead to adultery and herald the destruction of Islam. In any Islamic country where adultery becomes common, that country is destroyed and enters the domination of the infidels because their men become like women and women cannot defend themselves. Anyone who talks to us should do so within Islam's framework."

So how are the ladies seen here at home? Is the model superior to that of the foe? Yes, way to go! Hats off to our womanly-women.


Conservapedia defines femininity as:

"Femininity is the set of principles which form a womanly personality, many of which can be traced to the female reproductive role. While men often master their masculine traits well into adulthood and continually test the masculinity of their associates, femininity is something many women feel is rooted in their early development and is adjusted by picking up societal cues. Feminine characteristics are expressed through female gender roles.

Femininity builds a woman's esteem by enhancing her own interpersonal relationships rather than building confidence through the task-orientation of masculinity. Traditionally feminine traits include being emotional, demure, affectionate, sympathetic, sensitive, soft-spoken, warm, tender, childlike, gentle, pretty, willowy, submissive, understanding and compassionate."


Yeah, yeah, all of that is important but what about the mores? How is bad behavior controlled and evil brought to task?

"Under the Taliban regime, Sharia law was interpreted to forbid a wide variety of previously lawful activities in Afghanistan. One Taliban list of prohibitions included: pork, pig, pig oil, anything made from human hair, satellite dishes, cinematography, and equipment that produces the joy of music, pool tables, chess, masks, alcohol, tapes, computers, VCRs, television, anything that propagates sex and is full of music, wine, lobster, nail polish, firecrackers, statues, sewing catalogs, pictures, Christmas cards. They also got rid of employment, education, and sports for all women, dancing, clapping during sports events, kite flying, and characterizations of living things, no matter if they were drawings, paintings, photographs, stuffed animals, or dolls. Men had to have a fist size beard at the bottom of their chin. Conversely, they had to wear their head hair short. Men had to wear a head covering. " Wikipedia


Awesome! Oh my, tough act to follow. Well, give it your best shot. It's daunting, pilgrims.

However, you must always be careful to pose in a dignified manner – sitting at your desk, for example, or standing on the Capitol steps. Your facial expression should be one of pensive sobriety, as if you’re contemplating how to repeal Obamacare and save this great nation from ruin.

For female members, a conservative dress or suit is fine for photographs; taupe is always safe. For men, the preferred attire is a navy blue coat jacket, a club necktie, and of course your American flag lapel pin (with the stripes positioned horizontally, Rep. Quayle!).

Obviously, all body piercings and tattoos should remain out of sight.

One final point, and I can’t stress this strongly enough: Republican House members should never, ever use their cell phones to photograph themselves shirtless, no matter how “hot” they think they look.

In the event that such a revealing picture does exist, you are absolutely forbidden from emailing it to somebody you just met online. No exceptions
! ...McClatchy Truth to Power



Sorry, folks, you're not even in the ball game. That's limp. Not one word about pool tables, chess, masks, lobster, or nail polish. What about firecrackers? Jeez. oops. Jeepers. Unless the pace picks up in a hurry, there's no contest. What a shame to lose the race by default. Come on now. Ban something!





1 comment:

Serena Thomson said...

Ok.. I am nearly agree with your post ..!!



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